Naive Music

I've been working on a new mix of "Blame". I recut the vocals, added some back-ups, and nudged the piano around a bit. I'll post the new version soon, but right now I'm tearing out my hair over EQ-ing the damn thing.

Problem is, I know I'm wasting too much time on it, but I can't stop myself. At a certain point, I guess I just have to admit to myself that I'm neither a musician nor a recording engineer, and the real purpose of my musical noodlings is to complement the writing I'm not doing while I'm fine-tuning the 20th version of this stupid song.

But there are times I feel so close to understanding something, or reaching some sort of breakthrough, that I can't turn back. It's like I'm groping around in the dark and I can feel the edges of the light switch cover, but I can't find the switch.

There's something tantalizing, I think, about working in a craft in which you have no formal training. All knowledge is discovery, every step a clumsy leap. Improvements always feel much more dramatic than they are. You are primitive and young, charged with potential.

But I know this is only an illusion created by my own ignorance. Hell, sometimes it just feel good to believe in it.