More Susie

So here's the second section of "Keeping Susie Whole." The editing is going poorly. I'm happy with he first half to three-quarters of the story, but something seems to go wrong toward the end.

Perhaps it's because I never conceived of this being as long as it has become. Originally it struck my as a 2,000-word piece. It's more than 5,000 words. That's probably too long, but I like the direction it's gone in, it's just the voice and the tone that have sort of strayed on me in the last 1,000 words.

But that's what editing is for right? Anyway, here's some stuff more stuff from he beginning:

Draft excerpt removed due to submission